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lola_annFandom: Supernatural, Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Pairing: Buffy/Dean (also Sam/Faith)
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Humor, Romance, Adventure
Wordcount: ~2100 this chapter
Disclaimer: Still don't own and still not getting paid for this.
Summary: Sequel to Take the Long Way Home. Drusilla has evil plans & thinks Dean looks like a fun new toy. Buffy’s undead exes come to the ‘rescue’. Dean’s not at all happy about having to deal with a bunch of ‘fake’ vampires. Oh and Buffy’s REALLY pregnant too.
If RL cooperates, should have part 6 out in a few days. It's mostly written, just needs some polishing.
Link to Masterpost
or
~Chapter 5~
“Look mate, all ‘m saying is that quantity’s got bugger all to do with quality. Detroit makes more cars. You got me there, but think about it. The Aston Martin, the Jag, the bleeding Rolls-Royce! The cars we make are simply better, you can’t argue with facts. How can you even compare some of the rubbish you lot drive to any of those?” Spike snorted. “Oh right, just remembered… the Ford Pinto. I stand corrected. You win.”
“Fine, the Pinto was a blemish on the ass of American car superiority, but I’m still not convinced the Russians didn’t work some sabotage on that one. That was the Cold War era, dude. They were secretly screwing around with all sorts of crap over here. The Pinto was just proof. That and disco, man. Someday it’ll all come out.”
Spike sighed deeply. “So, what do we argue ‘bout next? Seein’ as how Dru might leave us hanging here a bit longer. Must be taking her a while to get sorted after you chundered all over her.”
Dean groaned and tried to wiggle his wrists around. The freaks had put the manacles on extra tight this time and his hands were now completely numb, a problem he doubted the bleached undead had to contend with, considering he had no circulation to cut off. “I don’t friggin’ know. I’m bored as hell. I wish she’d just get her damn freaky show on the road.”
As if on cue, Drusilla strolled into the room wearing a clean and super fancy-looking dress. She’d obviously taken extra time getting herself ready too, because her hair was painstakingly arranged in lots of perfect ringlet curls and she wore glittering jewels around her neck.
“Thanks for that,” Spike hissed over toward Dean. “Hope you enjoy your freak show. Drusilla,” he greeted in a much louder tone. “Luv, you look ravishing. That dress is perfection on you. Never seen you looking so—,”
“Shush,” she warned with a raised finger. “I’m in no mood for more of your lies, Spike. Princess is very cross with you.”
“Yeah dude, grow some balls. Stop kissin’ ass. It’s sad.”
“Right, like you aren’t terrified of the Slayer when you do something what gets her knickers in a twist. I’ve had my face bashed in a time or two by that one. It’s nothing to sneeze at.”
“Guarantee it,” Dean agreed smugly. “But she likes me and she’d never wanna mess with this face.”
“Please. You –,”
“Silence! No more talk of that horrid Slayer. You’re with Drusilla now and you’ll both be thoroughly punished. Starting with you,” she purred as she crept up toward Dean and growled at him in what he assumed was supposed to be a sexy way. Then, with no foreplay whatsoever she stuck her tongue down his throat. God help him.
“Dru!” Spike exclaimed in horror from his spot on the wall. “That’s bloody disgusting, pet. The boy just finished throwing up everything he’s eaten in the past decade.”
Dean never thought he’d agree with a vampire on the subject of personal hygiene, but yeah, this was just gross. He was beginning to wonder if she was going to settle for choking him to death with her tongue when she finally pulled back and looked him up and down while she licked her lips.
“You’re going to make a wonderful daddy for our new little one. We’ll be a proper family, we will. We can take her pram to the park at night, buy her lovely li’l dresses, go to the fair,” she added excitedly. “She’ll have all the lollipops and sweeties she wants. Perhaps we’ll even find her a kitten.”
No way, Dean thought. No freaking way. This crazy bitch couldn’t be saying what he thought she was saying. It was a whole new level of crazy. “Lady, I know you and reality ain’t exactly on speaking terms, but you do realize you can’t get pregnant… don’t ya?”
Drusilla giggled and began rubbing his chest. “Someone else has our baby right now,” she whispered. “Someone very naughty. But don’t you worry. Your Drusilla will cut it out of that nasty girl, then I will be her mummy and all will be perfect.”
“You won’t lay a finger on her,” Dean warned. “I’ll kill you first, you skank bitch!” He struggled against the shackles some more, even though he knew it was useless. “Cas!” he yelled (another useless effort he realized). “Castiel, I’m serious! This is terror alert red, dude! Where the hell are you?”
The crazy vampire started with the maniacal laughter again and turned her gaze upward. Dean’s eyes followed and the question of what was keeping Cas became abundantly clear. Enochian sigils. The ceiling was covered in them. “Fuck!”
"Language," she scolded. "Miss Edith will hear. I knew you'd try to bring in outsiders. But, it's not your fault," she said sadly. "You don't understand yet, my poor lost boy. But you will… once I've made you mine, you will. And we can finally be happy."
"Let me guess. The friggin faeries told you about the sigils, right?" he asked sarcastically.
She stroked his face. "No my silly, beautiful new Angel. It was the pixies, of course."
"Yeah, of course. Cause that makes buttloads more sense.
XXXXXXXXXX
"That is a vampire," Castiel observed as he gazed at Angel.
"Yeah," Sam agreed impatiently. "He's a vampire named Angel. Ironic, huh?"
Cas sized up Angel for a long moment. "You are the one who may one day fulfill the Shanshu prophecy."
"That's the rumor," he agreed. "And you're a…?"
"He's an actual angel," Sam supplied in a clipped tone. "Now can we get back to Dean? Have you heard from him?"
"No, he has not prayed to me."
This news terrified Buffy. "Seriously?" she asked a bit desperately.
"Yes, seriously," he echoed back. "He has not prayed to me."
Buffy wrinkled her nose and kicked irritably at the table leg in front of her. "Are you really, really sure? I mean, maybe you were sleeping or had the TV on too loud or something?" God, she hated it when the angel gave her 'the blank look'.
"I do not sleep."
"But… he'd call you if he was in serious trouble. He's stubborn, but he's smart enough to know when he really needs help and he also realizes I'm about to go into labor at any second. He had to call you…. unless he couldn't. You don't think?"
"He's not dead. He would have appeared in heaven if he was."
That answer soothed Buffy's nerves a little, but not much. She knew Drusilla enough to know that Dean could still be in a severe amount of pain even if he was alive. "Will!" she exclaimed, deciding it was time to go back to pestering her best friend now that summoning the angel seemed to be a bust.
"I'm trying, Buffy," Willow whined. It was possible Buffy had been taking the pestering to an extreme. "Look," she said as she swung her laptop around so everyone could see the screen. "This is a map of Cleveland. The red hotspots are vamps," she explained as she pointed out blobs of red dots throughout the city. "The blue are Fyaryl demons. I thought we'd look for a hotspot with both and then hit that one… but since Fyaryls commonly work for vamps, there are actually quite a few of those dual hotspots. Sooooo…. that means we have at least thirty-five maybes."
"Fine, we'll grab all the girls, split up and hit 'em all."
"Works for me," Sam agreed. "What do you think, Cas? Any of those spots give you the angelic tinglies?" He pursed his lips and frowned uncomfortably once he'd said that. "I mean, do you – you know - sense anything?"
Castiel didn't answer, he was mesmerized by the laptop screen. "This is impressive. Did you use magic?"
Willow beamed with pride. "Yes, it's a Willow Rosenberg special. Part magic, part mad coding skills."
Cas furrowed his brow and leaned in closer. "But there is nothing there," he said as he pointed to one of the red and blue hotspots.
Will was obviously annoyed that he'd touched her screen and quickly wiped at the smudge with a tissue. "Is too," she said defensively. "This program has been thoroughly bug tested. I stand by it 1000%"
"But there is nothing there," Castiel repeated, clearly unaffected by Willow's indignation. "Nothing. It's as if that area does not exist. There must be a flaw in your logic."
"Well… well," Willow sputtered. "Maybe there's just a flaw in your big poopie head!"
Poopie head, seriously? Buffy just let that one go on by and exchanged glances with Sam, who seemed to have come to the same conclusion as her.
"That's the place!" they both exclaimed.
Cas looked unconvinced. "I do not understand."
"Yeah, me neither," Willow reluctantly agreed after shooting the angel another sour look. The girl did not like to have her magical or her coding skills called into question. If you did both at once, she was going to be steamed.
"Think about it," Buffy said excitedly as she addressed Cas. "Dean's obviously in deep trouble, but he hasn't even tried to call you… or so you think. And now there's this hotspot full of vamps and Fyaryls right in front of you and you can't see it. Like, AT ALL. You said it was like it didn't even exist."
"You are saying the area is protected from angelic interference? Perhaps guarded by Enochian sigils?"
"Makes sense," Sam agreed. "That's how I'd read it."
Buffy hugged the stunned angel. "Yay! You're not completely useless after all. Let's go!"
"Buffy."
She looked up at her brother-in-law and frowned. "Don't start, Sam. I'll tell Dean I threatened you with your life if you're that scared of him. I'll even hit you if you think it'll look more convincing."
"He has a point, Buffy," Angel added as he stood up. "You are the one Drusilla's looking for. You know she only grabbed Dean to draw you in. You'd be stupid to go there."
"Well, I am blond, female, and from California," she snapped back sarcastically. "So yeah, I'm practically guaranteed to be a moron. Obviously, I'm going and all of you can deal with it. Besides," she added as she grinned up at Castiel and attempted to appear as innocent and cute as possible. "I've got an angel on my shoulder. You wouldn't let anything happen to little old stupid me, would you Cas?"
"That would displease Dean."
"Darn right it would," she nodded. "Let's pack it up, people. This baby can't wait forever and I'm not going into labor by myself."
XXXXXXXXXX
A rescue party consisting of fifteen junior Slayers, herself, Faith, Sam, Willow, Xander, Giles, Angel, Castiel, and even Dawn was beyond overkill when it came to facing maybe a dozen vamps and a couple of stupid Fyaryls, but Buffy wasn't about to feel guilty about wasting resources. This time she was going to take full advantage of her status as Head Slayer. It wasn't like the job came with that many glamorous perks anyway. Mostly it was just a lot of ruined shoes and demon goo.
It turned out that Drusilla had holed up in a mansion that some wealthy eccentric had built to look like a medieval castle. It had been abandoned during the height of the recession and no one had yet stepped up to buy it. Big shock there.
"Dammit," Sam cursed in frustration as he observed the monstrosity in front of them. "This place is huge! We'll have to search every room. It could take hours."
"Not if this place has a dungeon," Angel remarked. "Drusilla loves dungeons."
Buffy rolled her eyes. "Why is that not surprising? And my bet is firmly on dungeon, because if you're weird enough to build a full-scale medieval castle in the middle of Cleveland, you're definitely not gonna skimp on that part. So I say we just kick in the doors and head on downstairs. Kill everything in your path, but leave Drusilla for me."
"I cannot enter," Castiel said as he indicated the windows decorated in sigils. It was in his usual monotone, but Buffy could almost swear there was a bit of petulance in there.
"Will, you think you can take care of that?"
"Abso-tutely," she chirped. It was a well-known fact that her best friend loved to show off in front of the angel, especially when said angel had recently dared to question her competence. She raised her arms and uttered a short incantation and every single window shattered. So much for the element of surprise. "Just stay behind me," she said smugly as she dusted off her hands. "If we run into any more of those puppies, I'll blast those too."
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Date: 2012-04-22 11:05 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-04-23 02:35 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-04-23 12:24 pm (UTC)/slinks back into the dark stalkery corners of the internet.
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Date: 2012-04-23 02:27 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-04-23 02:43 pm (UTC)Definitely the first time anyone has said that to me. ;)
LJ has been known to be fickle. Offer sacrifices in her name and perhaps you'll win back her favour. :)
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Date: 2012-04-23 02:53 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-04-23 01:35 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-04-23 02:33 pm (UTC)Love that icon. I'm a sucker for the lolcats.
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Date: 2012-04-23 04:25 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-04-23 04:47 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-04-25 11:53 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2012-04-26 11:49 am (UTC)RL can be crazy, I completely understand that. Hope things settle down for you soon.